Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People (And How to Finally Stop)

By Lissa Michelle | Caru Tarot

So.,. you’ve tried everything!

Waiting to text back. Playing it cool. Working on yourself. New profiles, new strategies, new approaches.

And yet… the same patterns keep showing up.

Here’s the truth most people miss: it’s not your dating strategy, it’s your nervous system.

Why “Playing It Cool” Never Works

You can say all the right things, but if your nervous system is stuck in anxiety or fight-or-flight, people feel it.

Magnetic people aren’t trying harder.

They’re calmer. Grounded. Regulated.

Quick check: Think about someone you’re interested in.

Do you feel relaxed and steady or tight, restless, checking your phone?

That sensation tells you everything. Attraction doesn’t come from effort. It comes from regulation.

3 Things Magnetic People Do Differently

1. They Pause Before Reacting

When something triggers them, they don’t spiral or rush to respond.

Try this: Take three deep breaths before replying. Ask, “Am I responding from anxiety or groundedness?” If it’s anxiety, wait.

Grounded energy attracts. Anxious energy repels.

2. They Know (and Heal) Their Attachment Style

Anxious, avoidant, disorganised: your attachment pattern shapes who you attract.

Try this: Start noticing your patterns without judgment. Awareness creates choice. Choice creates change.

3. They Set Clear, Loving Boundaries

Not walls. Not over-explaining. Just clarity.

“I’m looking for consistency.”

“I don’t do casual.”

The wrong people leave. The right people lean in.

What Changes When You Do the Deeper Work

Real transformation happens when you:

Regulate your nervous system Rewire your self-concept Heal attachment patterns Communicate clearly and confidently Build a full life where love is a bonus not a necessity.

That’s exactly what Be The One They Want teaches.

Inside the Course

Nervous system regulation & self-concept work Attachment healing & aligned boundaries Authentic communication & dating from abundance Scripts, quizzes, workbooks, journal prompts, and lifetime access

Your Two Options:

Option 1: Keep repeating the same patterns.

Option 2: Transform from the inside out and become naturally magnetic.

Only one changes everything.

Ready to Stop Chasing and Start Attracting?

Be The One They Want is available now with lifetime access.

Pre-Launch Early Bird Access

As of February 2026, the course is officially in pre-launch.

✔️ All workbooks, frameworks, and written materials are complete

✔️ Modules will be released progressively inside the course portal

✔️ You’ll receive lifetime access as new content is added

Early Bird Price: £47

From 1st March, the full course price increases to £197.

Lock in early!

Start the work now.

Secure lifetime access at the lowest possible price.

👉 Join the Pre-Launch & Lock in Early Bird Access →

Because the woman who’s grounded, self-led, and clear in her worth?

She doesn’t chase … she attracts.

Pre-Launch Early Bird Access As of February 2026, the course is officially in pre-launch. ✔️ All workbooks, frameworks, and written materials are complete ✔️ Modules will be released progressively inside the course portal ✔️ You’ll receive lifetime access as new content is added 💫 Early Bird Price: £47 From 1st March, the full course price increases to £197. Lock in early. Start the work now. Secure lifetime access at the lowest possible price.

👉 Join the Pre-Launch & Lock in Early Bird Access →Start today.

Lissa Michelle | Caru Tarot

Shifting Your Mindset for Career Change With Tarot Cards and Psychology


Tarot cards have been used for a very long time as a tool for self-reflection, insight, and guidance. While some may view them solely as a means of divination, others see them as a way to tap into our subconscious minds and explore the deeper layers of our psyche. One powerful application of tarot is in helping us shift our mindset into a more positive space, particularly when it comes to making changes in our careers.

Lets explore the power of tarot in navigating career challenges with this insightful reading and discover how tarot cards can guide you through difficult career questions, empowering you to embrace change and cultivate the confidence and mindset needed to forge a new path forward.

I’ve also included a selection of well-regarded and potent psychology tools and theories that you can employ to navigate your career transition effectively.

Current Situation – The Seven of Swords:
In this position, we encounter the Seven of Swords, a card often associated with evasion and deception. However, in the context of a career reading, it can represent the subconscious ways in which we may be avoiding confronting the challenges or dissatisfaction we feel in our current career path. This card prompts us to acknowledge these feelings and recognise the need for change.

Obstacles or Challenges – The Eight of Swords:
Next, we encounter the Eight of Swords, which symbolises feelings of being trapped or restricted. It suggests that there may be internal or external factors holding us back from making a change in our careers. However, it’s essential to recognise that these constraints are often more psychological than physical and can be overcome with the right mindset and approach.

Advice or Guidance – The Chariot:
Finally, we arrive at The Chariot, a card of triumph and success through determination and willpower. This card advises us to take control of our situation, set clear goals, and move forward with confidence and assertiveness. It reminds us that we have the power to navigate any obstacles or challenges that may arise as we pursue a career change.

Psychology Tools for Empowerment:

In addition to the insights provided by the tarot cards, there are several psychology tools and theories that can further empower us to shift our mindset into a positive space and facilitate career change:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT techniques can help us identify and challenge negative thought patterns that may be holding us back from pursuing a new career path.
  • Goal Setting: Setting SMART goals can provide us with clarity and direction as we work towards making a change in our careers, empowering us to take actionable steps towards our desired outcome.
  • Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help us cultivate self-awareness and emotional resilience, allowing us to approach career change with a calm and centered mindset.
  • Strengths-Based Approach: Identifying our strengths and talents can boost our confidence and help us align our career goals with our unique abilities, making it easier to pursue meaningful work.

By combining insights from tarot with these psychology tools and theories, we can shift our mindset into a positive space and empower ourselves to make a change in our careers that aligns with our values and aspirations. Remember, the journey towards a fulfilling career is not always easy, but with the right mindset and support, we can overcome any obstacles that stand in our way.

The Phenomenon of the Law of Attraction: Unveiling its Rise to Prominence and Enduring Popularity

In recent years, the concept of the Law of Attraction and manifestation has surged in popularity, captivating the minds and hearts of millions worldwide. But what exactly has propelled this phenomenon into the mainstream consciousness, and why do so many people find solace and inspiration in its teachings? To unravel these questions, let’s delve into the origins, principles, and enduring appeal of the Law of Attraction and explore the contributions of famous philosophers who have shaped its understanding and popularity.

Originating from the New Thought movement of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, the Law of Attraction proposes that individuals can attract positive or negative experiences into their lives through the power of their thoughts and beliefs. Central to this concept is the idea that like attracts like, meaning that positive thoughts and emotions can manifest desirable outcomes, while negative thoughts can lead to undesirable circumstances. While the roots of the Law of Attraction can be traced back to ancient spiritual and philosophical traditions, its modern resurgence can be attributed to the work of prominent figures such as Ralph Waldo Trine, Charles Fillmore, and Napoleon Hill.

Ralph Waldo Trine, an influential philosopher and author, popularised the concept of the Law of Attraction in his influential work, “In Tune with the Infinite” (1897). Trine emphasised the power of positive thinking and the interconnectedness of the mind, body, and spirit in shaping one’s reality. His teachings resonated with many seeking a deeper understanding of the mind-body connection and the potential for personal transformation through the cultivation of positive thoughts and attitudes.

Charles Fillmore, co-founder of the Unity Church, further developed the principles of the Law of Attraction through his teachings on the power of affirmative prayer and spiritual healing. Fillmore emphasised the importance of aligning one’s thoughts and beliefs with divine principles to manifest abundance, health, and happiness in all areas of life. His teachings laid the groundwork for the modern understanding of manifestation as a spiritual practice rooted in the power of intention and faith.

Napoleon Hill, author of the classic self-help book “Think and Grow Rich” (1937), introduced the concept of the Law of Attraction to a wider audience through his exploration of the principles of success and prosperity. Hill’s philosophy emphasised the importance of clarity of purpose, persistence, and visualisation in achieving one’s goals and desires. His timeless wisdom continues to inspire countless individuals to harness the power of their thoughts and beliefs to create the life they envision.

In addition to these pioneers, contemporary thought leaders such as Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, and Rhonda Byrne have played instrumental roles in popularising the Law of Attraction through their bestselling books, lectures, and multimedia platforms. Through their teachings, they have empowered millions to embrace the power of positive thinking, gratitude, and visualisation as tools for personal growth and fulfilment.

So why has the concept of the Law of Attraction and manifestation captured the imagination of so many people around the world? At its core, the appeal lies in its promise of empowerment and agency in the idea that individuals have the ability to shape their own reality through the power of their thoughts and intentions. In a world filled with uncertainty and challenges, the prospect of harnessing one’s inner potential to create positive change resonates deeply with those seeking meaning, purpose, and fulfilment in their lives.

Furthermore, the Law of Attraction offers a sense of hope and possibility, inviting individuals to dream big, set bold intentions, and take inspired action towards their goals. By cultivating a positive mindset and aligning their thoughts, beliefs, and actions with their deepest desires, practitioners of the Law of Attraction embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, guided by the principle that anything is possible for those who dare to believe.

In conclusion, the concept of the Law of Attraction and manifestation has risen to prominence thanks to the contributions of visionary philosophers and thought leaders who have illuminated its principles and applications. By tapping into the power of positive thinking, intention, and visualisation, individuals can unlock their innate potential and create the life of their dreams. As the legacy of these teachings continues to inspire generations, the Law of Attraction remains a timeless reminder of the boundless possibilities that lie within each and every one of us.

The Science Behind Holding On: Why We Struggle to Let Go of Toxic Situations

In the intricate dance of life, we often find ourselves clinging to past situations, whether they are toxic relationships, unfulfilling careers, or strained friendships. Despite the evident toxicity, the human brain’s innate tendency to crave familiarity plays a pivotal role in this reluctance to let go. Rooted deeply in evolutionary psychology, this phenomenon sheds light on our propensity to cling to the known, even when it’s detrimental to our well-being.

The Brain’s Love Affair with Familiarity

At the core of our struggle to let go lies the brain’s intricate wiring. The brain is hardwired to seek out familiarity and predictability, a trait deeply ingrained in our evolutionary history. From a survival standpoint, familiarity signaled safety and security. In ancient times, venturing into the unknown could lead to peril, making it advantageous for our ancestors to stick with what they knew.

The Comfort of the Known

The brain is designed to operate within its comfort zone. Familiar environments and routines activate the brain’s reward system, triggering the release of feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine. This neurochemical response reinforces the desire to maintain the status quo, even when it entails enduring toxic situations. In essence, the brain associates familiarity with comfort and safety, compelling us to resist change, regardless of the toxicity.

Fighting the Flight Response

The brain’s inclination towards familiarity intertwines with its instinctual response to stress—the fight-or-flight response. When faced with adversity, the brain’s primal instinct is to either confront the threat or flee from it. However, in the context of toxic situations, the brain often perceives letting go as a threat to its familiar environment, triggering the fight response. This internal conflict between the desire for safety and the need for change creates a psychological tug-of-war, prolonging our attachment to toxic circumstances.

The Role of Conditioning

Furthermore, our past experiences shape our response to present situations. If we’ve grown accustomed to toxicity in our relationships or careers, our brain’s conditioning reinforces the acceptance of such environments as the norm. Breaking free from this conditioning requires rewiring neural pathways, a daunting task that many find challenging to undertake.

Overcoming the Struggle

While the brain’s affinity for familiarity presents a formidable obstacle, it’s not insurmountable. Recognizing the underlying mechanisms at play is the first step towards liberation. By consciously challenging the brain’s resistance to change and embracing discomfort as a catalyst for growth, individuals can gradually loosen their grip on toxic situations.

Conclusion

In the intricate tapestry of human psychology, the struggle to let go of toxic situations is deeply rooted in the brain’s innate desire for familiarity and comfort. Understanding the science behind this phenomenon illuminates the complexity of human behavior and empowers individuals to embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. By confronting the discomfort of the unknown and embracing change, we pave the way for a brighter, healthier future—one liberated from the shackles of toxic familiarity.

How do we live our true life purpose?

In the grand scheme of things, life is like an epic journey. We’re not meant to sit idly in a cozy comfort zone, but rather to brave the wilds, confront challenges, and relish in the joys of discovery. It’s in our DNA, ingrained within us since ancient times when survival depended on our ability to adapt and overcome.

Picture this: Our ancestors weren’t lounging around on plush sofas, sipping tea in air-conditioned or cozy warm rooms. They were out there in the wilderness, facing down predators, hunting for food, and forging paths through unknown territories. They thrived on the thrill of the unknown, the rush of adrenaline as they tackled each obstacle head-on.

Fast forward to today, and while the landscape may have changed, the essence remains the same. We’re wired for adventure, for pushing boundaries, for seeking out new experiences that challenge and shape us. It’s what keeps us alive, vibrant, and engaged with the world around us.

But somewhere along the way, many of us have gotten too comfortable… I know I have… and we’ve settled into routines, cocooned ourselves in familiar surroundings, and shied away from anything that might disrupt our equilibrium. We’ve forgotten that true growth lies outside our comfort zone.

Living a life of purpose means embracing the unknown, stepping outside those cozy confines, and embracing the full spectrum of our human experience. It means taking risks, facing fears, and leaping into the great unknown with courage and conviction.

Think about it: Some of the most memorable moments in life come from those times when we dared to venture beyond what we thought possible. Whether it’s climbing a mountain, (I’ve climbed Pen Y Fan Mountain several times), starting a new business (I’ve started several businesses over the years), or learning a new skill (I absolutely love to learn new things… it’s my Gemini Moon), each challenge we overcome adds a vibrant hue to the tapestry of our lives.

So, how do we live with purpose? It really is simple. We start by embracing discomfort, by seeking out opportunities to stretch ourselves and grow. We welcome challenges as invitations to expand our horizons, rather than shrink back in fear.

But living with purpose also means finding balance. It’s not about constantly pushing ourselves to the brink of exhaustion or taking unnecessary risks. It’s about listening to our instincts, honouring our limitations, and knowing when to push forward and when to pause and recharge. This is where having a Life Coach can really help.

Ultimately, living a purposeful life is about finding that sweet spot where challenge meets fulfilment, where discomfort gives way to growth, and where we can look back on our journey with pride and satisfaction.

If you’re ready to step into your power, embrace your purpose, and create the life you’ve always dreamed of, book your session today and let’s embark on this transformative journey together!